There is a great line from a song by Christian artist Brandon Heath: “I'm not who I was.” I feel like that could be my life title in so many ways. Recently, it's hit me in a somewhat funny way. Those of you who didn't know me as a child or teen ager may have a difficult time believing this, but I was terribly shy unless I knew someone very well. I never spoke out in a group and seldom let my opinions be known. However, about the time I turned 25, that all changed. There were many events that happened at that time, but all I will say for now is that I woke up- for the first time.
The funny thing about it is that many times, I just can't keep silent! The other Sunday it was hitting me particularly hard. My poor Life Group (Sunday School) teacher hadn't had me in the room 2 minutes before I felt I had to interject something. After the third comment, I decided to try and keep silent.
I think that lasted about seven minutes. (And mostly because he was on a roll.)
I kept thinking of that verse in Psalms where David said , “When I kept silent, my bones became brittle from my groaning all day long.” (Psalm 32:3) I know in that verse David was talking about unconfessed sins before the Lord, but that's how I felt! I just get so excited about the Word of the Lord and what He has been teaching and showing me, that if I try and keep it in, my bones hurt. The awful thing is that I annoy myself!
I was relieved to go to worship service to finally keep myself quiet. However, the worship leader for that day told us that he was going to ask the congregation to speak a word about what the Lord meant to them and that the choir was welcome to comment as well. I steeled my tongue. When the time came, I was chomping at the bit, but waited. When finally I could contain it no more, I told the Lord that if they asked for one more person, I would speak. Luckily, they didn't. However, later on when talking with my husband, he said he could tell I was about to burst. I just can't get away from it!
I am not saying that the Lord is speaking through me, but when I have managed to keep silent if something comes to mind, I often feel chastised later by God for not having spoke it. Over the last few years, I've tried to discern the times to speak and the times to keep silent, and I think I have found a healthy balance.
It just cracks me up to think about how different of a person I am. Inside I am shy, insecure, don't like to be noticed, and feel I have little to offer. I love to do little things where no one has to know who I am. Yet the Lord has me working with women at the church, singing in the choir, teaching Bible studies and now writing!
Praise to God that He has chosen me – this foolish, weak, insignificant, and despised thing – to glorify Him!
1 Corinthians 1:27-29, 31b
“Instead, God has chosen the world's foolish things to shame the wise, and God has chosen the world's weak things to shame the strong. God has chosen the world's insignificant and despised things – the things viewed as nothing – so He might bring to nothing the things that are view as something, so that no one can boast in His presence.... The one who boasts must boast in the Lord.”
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Monday, July 6, 2009
Happy Day!
Our boys are coming today!!!
My two older children, Derek and Malachi, only live with us part of the year. Most of you know I was married once before, and their father has custody. It is a difficult situation, but I know the Lord can work it out for the best.
They will be here for a month, and I'm hoping to keep as current on this blog as I have been. While we tend to look at this time they are with us as total vacation, there are certain things I am trying to instill in them. First and foremost is a love for God. I want them to see that while I love them deeply, following what God has told me to do it utterly important. I believe the number one thing He has told me, for now, is to write this blog.
It is a very difficult thing to trust them completely to the Lord, and that is what I have had to do since they were three and one years old. I cling to Proverbs 22:6 “Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” I try to teach and train them in the Lord's way when I have them and then must trust God that they will not depart from it. Now, I know that it is not a guarantee for salvation. Each person must make their own decision for that, but I must strive to do what I can, when I can, and be at peace.
Samuel's mother, Hannah, is my role model. (1 Samuel 1-3) She gave Samuel over to the Lord, to be raised in the temple by the High Priest, Eli, when he was around three years old. She was only able to see him once a year as well. The other thing Hannah had to overcome was that Eli was already raising two sons who were wicked men and had no regard for the Lord. (1 Samuel 2:12) But look how Samuel turned out. Why? Because that was the Lord's desire. I also think Hannah's prayers, heart, and obedience had a lot to do with it.
Please pray for our family this month. While it is a wonderful month, it can also be difficult at times. It takes some adjusting to our rules when they are here. Then when they are about to go back, everyone is cranky and emotional. Pray that we all keep our eyes focused on the Lord and the children all develop a passion for the Lord.
My two older children, Derek and Malachi, only live with us part of the year. Most of you know I was married once before, and their father has custody. It is a difficult situation, but I know the Lord can work it out for the best.
They will be here for a month, and I'm hoping to keep as current on this blog as I have been. While we tend to look at this time they are with us as total vacation, there are certain things I am trying to instill in them. First and foremost is a love for God. I want them to see that while I love them deeply, following what God has told me to do it utterly important. I believe the number one thing He has told me, for now, is to write this blog.
It is a very difficult thing to trust them completely to the Lord, and that is what I have had to do since they were three and one years old. I cling to Proverbs 22:6 “Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” I try to teach and train them in the Lord's way when I have them and then must trust God that they will not depart from it. Now, I know that it is not a guarantee for salvation. Each person must make their own decision for that, but I must strive to do what I can, when I can, and be at peace.
Samuel's mother, Hannah, is my role model. (1 Samuel 1-3) She gave Samuel over to the Lord, to be raised in the temple by the High Priest, Eli, when he was around three years old. She was only able to see him once a year as well. The other thing Hannah had to overcome was that Eli was already raising two sons who were wicked men and had no regard for the Lord. (1 Samuel 2:12) But look how Samuel turned out. Why? Because that was the Lord's desire. I also think Hannah's prayers, heart, and obedience had a lot to do with it.
Please pray for our family this month. While it is a wonderful month, it can also be difficult at times. It takes some adjusting to our rules when they are here. Then when they are about to go back, everyone is cranky and emotional. Pray that we all keep our eyes focused on the Lord and the children all develop a passion for the Lord.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Detour
I ended up making an unexpected road trip this past Monday. When I woke up and called my mother, it was decided that I would go and pick her up in Kentucky to stay with us for a few days. I quickly got ready, threw the kids in the van, and headed up there. It should have taken us about 9 hours round trip with breaks included: Long, but not too bad. However, we pulled into our driveway again a little over 12 hours later. (But at least our air conditioning worked the whole way!) Here's why...
Heading north on I-65 that morning we passed a very bad wreck on the southbound lane. It involved multiple semi trucks and cars. The people behind them had been there for so long that they were out of their vehicles and sitting in the shade off to the side of the road. No traffic was moving yet, but it looked like it would within the hour. When I arrived at my aunt's house about two hours later I called AAA and asked if they knew if the wreck has been cleared. They said it was and the traffic was moving, and since I had a little over an hour to get to that spot, I thought we would be fine.
Luckily, as we arrived at the section were we saw the traffic stopped, there was an exit. We had a map so I decided to get off and try a side road. Bad idea. All the side roads were bumper to bumper with semi's on little country two lane roads. Turning around to try a different direction, we saw that the interstate was clear as we headed over it. Thinking it had just opened, we got back on and headed south. Hills can be so deceptive... Just over the hill, there was the traffic. We were then committed to Interstate travel, so on we putted.
After about 45 minutes and 8 miles, Elijah was bouncing in his seat. He had to pee. We were moving just enough with construction around, so that pulling over to the side was not really an option. I told him to please just pee in an empty bottle and promised we wouldn't look. I knew that after the next exit, it cleared within a mile or two, and we were almost there. But he is very, how shall I say it... ornery and precise. Peeing in a bottle is just not what people do, so forget it.
With the end nearly in sight we pulled off the next exit only to see the police were not letting anyone back on. After taking a quick potty break with everyone else who refused to pee in a bottle on the Interstate, we merged into the two lane bumper to bumper detoured masses: For an extra 20 miles. I thought I would scream.
Instead God started talking to me. “Tiffany, when you get on the road I want for you, don't get off. No matter how badly you want a break, and how much traffic there may seem to be- stick to it. And if for some reason child, you do take an early exit, don't worry too much. I'll get you back on. But be prepared for a lengthy detour.”
Thanks God. You really can use anything to teach me.
Are you on the Interstate, on a detour, or taking a potty break from God's purpose for your life?
Heading north on I-65 that morning we passed a very bad wreck on the southbound lane. It involved multiple semi trucks and cars. The people behind them had been there for so long that they were out of their vehicles and sitting in the shade off to the side of the road. No traffic was moving yet, but it looked like it would within the hour. When I arrived at my aunt's house about two hours later I called AAA and asked if they knew if the wreck has been cleared. They said it was and the traffic was moving, and since I had a little over an hour to get to that spot, I thought we would be fine.
Luckily, as we arrived at the section were we saw the traffic stopped, there was an exit. We had a map so I decided to get off and try a side road. Bad idea. All the side roads were bumper to bumper with semi's on little country two lane roads. Turning around to try a different direction, we saw that the interstate was clear as we headed over it. Thinking it had just opened, we got back on and headed south. Hills can be so deceptive... Just over the hill, there was the traffic. We were then committed to Interstate travel, so on we putted.
After about 45 minutes and 8 miles, Elijah was bouncing in his seat. He had to pee. We were moving just enough with construction around, so that pulling over to the side was not really an option. I told him to please just pee in an empty bottle and promised we wouldn't look. I knew that after the next exit, it cleared within a mile or two, and we were almost there. But he is very, how shall I say it... ornery and precise. Peeing in a bottle is just not what people do, so forget it.
With the end nearly in sight we pulled off the next exit only to see the police were not letting anyone back on. After taking a quick potty break with everyone else who refused to pee in a bottle on the Interstate, we merged into the two lane bumper to bumper detoured masses: For an extra 20 miles. I thought I would scream.
Instead God started talking to me. “Tiffany, when you get on the road I want for you, don't get off. No matter how badly you want a break, and how much traffic there may seem to be- stick to it. And if for some reason child, you do take an early exit, don't worry too much. I'll get you back on. But be prepared for a lengthy detour.”
Thanks God. You really can use anything to teach me.
Are you on the Interstate, on a detour, or taking a potty break from God's purpose for your life?
Friday, July 3, 2009
As Hot As... Well, You Know
I don't think I have ever been that hot for that long in my life.
As I was helping move my mother from Florida to Kentucky, on the two longest days of the year I might add, the transmission overheated. We were pulling a U-Haul and, I admit, going 70 mph in 100 degree weather. We made it to the Georgia boarder on I-75, when we finally found a mechanic at a truck stop. He was a true answer to prayer at that point. He took the time to come out to the vehicle with me, look things over, and decide what to do about it - for free. Basically, we could either try to rent a larger vehicle or try going 60 mph max, windows down, and heat on. He said a lot a folks don't believe it really helps, but it does.
Now this dear angel was a skinny little white man who was permanently stained black from grease. Believe me, I know the kind: I grew up with some. So when he told me it was worth a try, I took him at his word. Besides, I had been praying to God for us to find the right mechanic who could tell us the right thing to do, so I had to trust that God had done that and follow through with belief.
The mechanic also told me to be careful. The temperature was bouncing between 99 and 101 degrees with a very high humidity level. The heat index, they told me, was near 115 to 120. So off we drove. I went to take a drink of the water we had, and it was as hot as a cup of coffee. At one point Elijah fell asleep in the back and I had my mother check on him to make sure he hadn't passed out. I seriously thought he might have because he and I were on the side where we were sitting in the sun as well. We paused to eat an early dinner because we just couldn't drive any more without cooling down, and then drove for a little over an hour more. It was around 7 pm by this time and we decided to stop at a hotel and get a few hours sleep and then leave again around 1 am in order to drive in the cool of the morning. After we checked in, all cooled down in the shower, and got in bed I had four hours to sleep. I prayed for God to get me as much deep sleep as possible so that I could continue easily the next day.
As I laid there tossing and turning for the next two hours I began to get a little worried. I was concerned enough about this must-have-seven-hours body getting only four. Especially after the previous week's lack from traveling and packing. But now I was down to only two!
The next morning, or actually, in a few of hours, as I was driving again in the 79 degree cool of the day, I began asking God what was up with that. Didn't He know I needed more? Hadn't He been the One who previously told me to start getting more for my own health? I just didn't understand. I wasn't mad- just confused.
That's when it hit me. He was once again stretching me and teaching me to live on faith. Yes, He had answered my prayer about the mechanic, but He wanted me to know that even when I knew something should happen, and it didn't, He was still in control and would take care of me through it. Those were the times I had to rely solely on His strength.
Lesson learned.
So, on I drove. Over 20 hours in unbelievable heat, with two small children, on 2 hours sleep. I began thinking how grateful I was this was the only heat of hell I would ever have to know!
As I was helping move my mother from Florida to Kentucky, on the two longest days of the year I might add, the transmission overheated. We were pulling a U-Haul and, I admit, going 70 mph in 100 degree weather. We made it to the Georgia boarder on I-75, when we finally found a mechanic at a truck stop. He was a true answer to prayer at that point. He took the time to come out to the vehicle with me, look things over, and decide what to do about it - for free. Basically, we could either try to rent a larger vehicle or try going 60 mph max, windows down, and heat on. He said a lot a folks don't believe it really helps, but it does.
Now this dear angel was a skinny little white man who was permanently stained black from grease. Believe me, I know the kind: I grew up with some. So when he told me it was worth a try, I took him at his word. Besides, I had been praying to God for us to find the right mechanic who could tell us the right thing to do, so I had to trust that God had done that and follow through with belief.
The mechanic also told me to be careful. The temperature was bouncing between 99 and 101 degrees with a very high humidity level. The heat index, they told me, was near 115 to 120. So off we drove. I went to take a drink of the water we had, and it was as hot as a cup of coffee. At one point Elijah fell asleep in the back and I had my mother check on him to make sure he hadn't passed out. I seriously thought he might have because he and I were on the side where we were sitting in the sun as well. We paused to eat an early dinner because we just couldn't drive any more without cooling down, and then drove for a little over an hour more. It was around 7 pm by this time and we decided to stop at a hotel and get a few hours sleep and then leave again around 1 am in order to drive in the cool of the morning. After we checked in, all cooled down in the shower, and got in bed I had four hours to sleep. I prayed for God to get me as much deep sleep as possible so that I could continue easily the next day.
As I laid there tossing and turning for the next two hours I began to get a little worried. I was concerned enough about this must-have-seven-hours body getting only four. Especially after the previous week's lack from traveling and packing. But now I was down to only two!
The next morning, or actually, in a few of hours, as I was driving again in the 79 degree cool of the day, I began asking God what was up with that. Didn't He know I needed more? Hadn't He been the One who previously told me to start getting more for my own health? I just didn't understand. I wasn't mad- just confused.
That's when it hit me. He was once again stretching me and teaching me to live on faith. Yes, He had answered my prayer about the mechanic, but He wanted me to know that even when I knew something should happen, and it didn't, He was still in control and would take care of me through it. Those were the times I had to rely solely on His strength.
Lesson learned.
So, on I drove. Over 20 hours in unbelievable heat, with two small children, on 2 hours sleep. I began thinking how grateful I was this was the only heat of hell I would ever have to know!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Fun, Fun, Fun!
Every year for Vacation Bible School at our church, the pastoral staff does a skit everyday during the worship rally. The kids always look forward to seeing what the new twist on The Adventures of Pastor Mike will be, and how bad guy Duane's evil plots will be foiled by Missions Man. It's just plain silly.
This year as I was showing one of the skits on Youtube to someone, I noticed them frowing. Later they said that it was unnecessary for the pastors to do that. The kids don't need to be entertained like that because the point is to learn about the Bible. I totally agree with their opinion.
However, it gave me an extra sense of gratitude towards the pastors at our church. Right, we don't need to do that. True, the point is for the kids to be learning about the Bible. But they were willing to do it anyway, and I am so thankful.
Christians can have fun, and I hope the world around us sees that. I have heard many say that they would never become a Christian because they just couldn't have fun anymore. I'd like to take that excuse away. We can have lots of fun! I know that it is just a poor excuse and that the real point is they don't want to surrender their lives to Jesus Christ and have a personal relationship with Him. I just don't want them to see Jesus as a fun-sucker.
Thank you to all of you out there who show the world around you that you can have good, clean, Biblical fun. If you don't feel you could have that kind of fun in a church, then perhaps it's the wrong kind of fun for you, or the wrong kind period. But, if you can't find a Scripural reason against it, then by all means, have a blast!
This year as I was showing one of the skits on Youtube to someone, I noticed them frowing. Later they said that it was unnecessary for the pastors to do that. The kids don't need to be entertained like that because the point is to learn about the Bible. I totally agree with their opinion.
However, it gave me an extra sense of gratitude towards the pastors at our church. Right, we don't need to do that. True, the point is for the kids to be learning about the Bible. But they were willing to do it anyway, and I am so thankful.
Christians can have fun, and I hope the world around us sees that. I have heard many say that they would never become a Christian because they just couldn't have fun anymore. I'd like to take that excuse away. We can have lots of fun! I know that it is just a poor excuse and that the real point is they don't want to surrender their lives to Jesus Christ and have a personal relationship with Him. I just don't want them to see Jesus as a fun-sucker.
Thank you to all of you out there who show the world around you that you can have good, clean, Biblical fun. If you don't feel you could have that kind of fun in a church, then perhaps it's the wrong kind of fun for you, or the wrong kind period. But, if you can't find a Scripural reason against it, then by all means, have a blast!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Moving
This has been the theme for my summer so far. We are not moving, but there are many around us who have been or will be. I have recently spoken with two people who have felt the Lord's call to move to another state sometime soon. Why? It's not for a job, or for family, but for the Lord. I am so proud of them and they are in my prayers.
When there is a “logical” reason for moving, it is so much easier- Even when explaining it to other Christians. Really, I think there's not a much scarier feeling than the pull of the Lord to just pick up and move somewhere. We begin questioning: Why? How? Are You sure? Am I sure? Unfortunately, there is no book in the Bible written only for you telling you specifically when and were to move.
There are two Biblical examples that I lean towards though. First and foremost is Abraham. Genesis 12:1 says, “The Lord said to Abram: Go out from your land, your relatives, and your father's house to the land that I will show you.” Notice He didn't say, “...to the land I told you about,” or, “to that piece of land you heard of in 'X'.” God just told Abram to leave what he knew and go, because He would show him on the way. Now that's faith. In today's fast pace society, we don't usually get that kind of calling, thank goodness! God places a certain state, city, or community in our hearts to draw us to. It still takes an immense measure of faith to go though with it. We KNOW that God will take care of and provide for us, but it is still difficult to do.
The others I think of are the disciples in the New Testament. Jesus said, “Follow Me” and they did, leaving everything behind. Read Matthew 4:18-22 for a good example of four of them. They left their jobs, and often families to follow Jesus for three years. We don't often think about this, but they had to look these same people in the face on a somewhat regular basis. They didn't go to another land, so they might have had to endure the ridicule of the people they knew. They point is, they did it. And so can you when God calls.
Perhaps you are contemplating a move right now. It might be to another state, another job, another church, or even another country. I would encourage you to fast and pray to the Lord. Ask Him to swing wide open all the doors He wants you to take and for Him firmly seal shut those He doesn't: No matter how hard you may try to pry them open or slam them shut. We are stubborn creatures and He knows this. Remember, He is our Creator – the Creator of all things. Tell Him how ornery you can be and to not allow you to stray from following Him with a whole heart, no matter what He needs to do. Now, be prepared to let Him do it and just trust Him. NO.... MATTER.... WHAT.
When there is a “logical” reason for moving, it is so much easier- Even when explaining it to other Christians. Really, I think there's not a much scarier feeling than the pull of the Lord to just pick up and move somewhere. We begin questioning: Why? How? Are You sure? Am I sure? Unfortunately, there is no book in the Bible written only for you telling you specifically when and were to move.
There are two Biblical examples that I lean towards though. First and foremost is Abraham. Genesis 12:1 says, “The Lord said to Abram: Go out from your land, your relatives, and your father's house to the land that I will show you.” Notice He didn't say, “...to the land I told you about,” or, “to that piece of land you heard of in 'X'.” God just told Abram to leave what he knew and go, because He would show him on the way. Now that's faith. In today's fast pace society, we don't usually get that kind of calling, thank goodness! God places a certain state, city, or community in our hearts to draw us to. It still takes an immense measure of faith to go though with it. We KNOW that God will take care of and provide for us, but it is still difficult to do.
The others I think of are the disciples in the New Testament. Jesus said, “Follow Me” and they did, leaving everything behind. Read Matthew 4:18-22 for a good example of four of them. They left their jobs, and often families to follow Jesus for three years. We don't often think about this, but they had to look these same people in the face on a somewhat regular basis. They didn't go to another land, so they might have had to endure the ridicule of the people they knew. They point is, they did it. And so can you when God calls.
Perhaps you are contemplating a move right now. It might be to another state, another job, another church, or even another country. I would encourage you to fast and pray to the Lord. Ask Him to swing wide open all the doors He wants you to take and for Him firmly seal shut those He doesn't: No matter how hard you may try to pry them open or slam them shut. We are stubborn creatures and He knows this. Remember, He is our Creator – the Creator of all things. Tell Him how ornery you can be and to not allow you to stray from following Him with a whole heart, no matter what He needs to do. Now, be prepared to let Him do it and just trust Him. NO.... MATTER.... WHAT.
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