Recently I heard a discussion on the issue of Christian men and women who are involved in Internet pornography. Not surprisingly, a study done in 2006 showed the percentage of men is much higher than women: 50% of men and 20% of women. One 2007 survey done in Australia even had it as high as 75% in men.
We are all aware of this issue and know- whether we follow it or not - that it is a sin. But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28 We know about pornography. I want to discuss something even more subtle, yet just as destructive: Romance novels.
I realize I might get some flack about this, but I believe from the bottom of my heart this is true. Men tend to find pleasure from sight. That's why scantily dressed women and porn attract them so easily and the percentage of men involved in pornography is higher. Women, on the other hand, are attracted through emotions.
Ladies, I say this with the utmost love and concern. Is what you are reading in any way compromising, replacing, or affecting your emotional relationship with your husband. Are you creating unrealistic scenarios and desires that are not respectful to and do not honor the husband God gave you? If you have ever even once wished your husband were more like Mr. X in such-n-such novel, then you need to reconsider what you look at. If so, this is just as destructive as him looking at pornography.
Single ladies, are you relying on reading material to "substitute" and fulfill the desires you have for your husband to be? Have you considered that you are setting the emotional bar so high that no man could ever compete with the fictional thrills you have created. The danger here is that even though what God has planned for you will ultimately be better and satisfy you more, you may never give it the chance because he doesn't fit the image you have created in the seed of your emotions.
Sisters, we have to take this seriously. If we are to honor our God, husbands, and families we must not read any fictional material that can compromise our desires. Ladies, this is war and it's your choice if you want to win the battle or concede.
7 For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. 8 If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 Christ died and came to life for this: that He might rule over both the dead and the living. 10 But you, why do you criticize your brother? Or you, why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. 11 For it is written:
As I live, says the Lord,
every knee will bow to Me,
and every tongue will give praise to God.
12 So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.
13 Therefore, let us no longer criticize one another, but instead decide not to put a stumbling block or pitfall in your brother's way.
Romans 14:7-13
Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things.
Philippians 4:8
I think about the damage internet porn is doing often. With two boys...and even "sin" aside. I mean yes, its a sin, but I prefer, like I think you do, to look at why it is a sin. God doesn't just throw us a bunch of "no no's" to annoy us, He does it because they are unhealthy and will hurt us. I'm VERY concerned what the long range damage is going to be of probably the majority of adolescent boys having access to porn. Its really going to affect the way men treat their wives when/if they get one. :( I really think its as damaging as if they actually had sex with all the people they are looking at, because images are so powerful. What unrealistic expectations are being set! And how oh how will a man grow up and be turned on by his wife (one woman that has a normal woman's body)?! Pretty much once a day I am happy that I am single and don't have a husband to worry about if he's looking at porn. Haha. ;) I doooo however have an 11 and 13 year old son's so that more than enough to worry about! :/
ReplyDeleteLacy
I just had someone email me that emotional attractions at work can create the same problem. That's true, but I think that the novels are more dangerous because we can "get away with it and no one really knows" like the internet stuff. Both can be dangerous.
ReplyDeleteNice article,
ReplyDelete