Crazy Hindsight

King David was a man every follower of Yahweh desires to be like. He's known as a man after God's own heart (Acts 13:22) and a prophet and premier king of the Jews. King David has certainly been a man to emulate for centuries, and certainly was looked up to during his own life..., right? Well, NO. Listen to David's own words in the first half of Psalm 69:

¹ Save me, God,
    for the water has risen to my neck. 

    ² I have sunk in deep mud, and there is no footing;
    I have come into deep waters,
    and a flood sweeps over me. 

    ³ I am weary from my crying;
    my throat is parched.
    My eyes fail, looking for my God. 

    ⁴ Those who hate me without cause
    are more numerous than the hairs of my head;
    my deceitful enemies, who would destroy me,
    are powerful.
    Though I did not steal, I must repay. 

    ⁵ God, You know my foolishness,
    and my guilty acts are not hidden from You.

    ⁶ Do not let those who put their hope in You
    be disgraced because of me,
    Lord GOD of Hosts;
    do not let those who seek You
    be humiliated because of me,
    God of Israel.

    ⁷ For I have endured insults because of You,
    and shame has covered my face.

    ⁸ I have become a stranger to my brothers
    and a foreigner to my mother's sons

    ⁹ because zeal for Your house has consumed me,
    and the insults of those who insult You
    have fallen on me.

    ¹⁰ I mourned and fasted,
    but it brought me insults.

    ¹¹ I wore sackcloth as my clothing,
    and I was a joke to them.

    ¹² Those who sit at the city gate talk about me,
    and drunkards make up songs about me.

    ¹³ But as for me, LORD,
    my prayer to You is for a time of favor.
    In Your abundant, faithful love, God,
    answer me with Your sure salvation...

Psalm 69:1-13

David was considered a freak and a zealot. No one seemed to understand why he was so dedicated in such an extreme way to God. He just didn't make sense to those around him. He took that God thing just too far...

But hindsight (and a word from God in the book of Acts) proved that David didn't take it too far- He had it right. Christ never claimed we would fit in with those around us and have the security of normalcy. Why do we insist He must have meant that?  Well, because we are scared to be fully His. So often I've chosen to fit in rather than stand up for God. I've wanted others to accept me more than I've wanted to be acceptable to God. I've chosen the wide road over the narrow.

This does not mean I am not a follower of Christ - by any means - I just means I've fail too many times and placed my devotion on self-satisfaction rather than God's glory. What a mercy and blessing He gives grace and forgiveness!!

It's my choice: Do I want to be known as a nice little Christian girl now and forgotten in the years to come, or do I care more about the impact my life can have for God's glory in generations to come than in how many people compliment me now?