Seperation

For those of you who don't know, I have two older, teenage children who don't live with me all the time. In fact, they don't for most of the year. They come for a month in the summer and a week at Christmas which are the happiest times of my year. The days counting down to when they come are filled with excitement in our house, and the younger kids give me a day by day reminder of just how long it will be till they are here. Then it's board games, big meals, and wrestling joy!

But the day always comes when they have to go back...

I have to be honest and say that I didn't know a heart could break that often or that much and still survive. For years mine almost didn't. If it weren't for my husband and the little ones, I don't think it would have. The pain has changed over the years depending on their age and understanding of what is going on - ever since they were three and one years old -, but it has never been any semblance of easy. Mother's Day is one of the worst. It's a day which, to me, celebrates my failures and pain while at the same time brings me joy that I have four wonderful children.

However, a gentle whisper from God taught me something yesterday in the midst of my turmoil as they left:

It really hurts, doesn't it? 

This is just a little of what it's like when My children leave Me...

I was a bit taken aback. Yes, we know that it grieves Him when His children stray, but I never had put the emotion to it. With as horrid as it is for me, I have the consolation that they are not choosing to leave me, but must. God doesn't. In fact, the pain is worse for Him knowing we don't care enough about Him to stay. Realizing this, how could we ever choose to cause Him this much pain?

Christmas and Easter must be a lot like my Mother's Days. They celebrate all He has done for us, while at the same time bring Him so much sorrow for those who are His but currently have only a care for the Christmas presents and pageants and new Easter clothes for that special appearance in church.

So I beg of you today. Never - never - allow yourself to stray from your Savior and cause Him this pain for you. When you find yourself becoming less dedicated or complacent to Him, throw yourself at His feet and ask Him to help you draw near. I know He will. He loves you so much...