Afraid To Ask

Have you ever been afraid to ask God for something in prayer? I have. Often.

I know that God always listens to and answer my prayers. I also know that whatever I ask for in the Name of Jesus Christ for the glory of God the Father will be granted. If only I has faith the size of a mustard seed, I could move mountains, and when I delight in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart. (Psalm 37:4, Proverbs 15:29, Matthew 17:20-21; 21:21-22)

I know and believe everyone of these things. So why am I afraid to ask for definites in prayer? Because I also know me.

I know my weaknesses and frailty. I know that I am easily led astray, and my heart is full of selfish ambition. More importantly, I know I don't deserve it.

Then I had an amazing talk with God.

It's been a trying few weeks, but was able to be part of an unexpectedly delightful and emotionally uplifting Bible study class Wednesday morning. It was one of those times where the comfortably polite walls of, “How are you today? Great! And you? Fine!” crashed like Jericho before Joshua, and we were real with one another. We discussed how God blesses us through His mighty hand when we believe and expect it. It really was a true blessing itself.

Later that evening after trying unsuccessfully to post a blog for the umpteenth time amongst other blogging issues, I was beyond frustrated again. So God and I had a meeting in our Holy of Holies: The shower – as any mother knows. There is no better place to cry than in the shower, because it all washes away. I was honest with the Lord and He was honest with me:


Why won't You let this blog post? Because you haven't prayed for that.
But what if I pray and it still won't work? So why don't you ask and find out?
Because I'm afraid You won't allow it after I ask. What is it that makes you afraid?
I'm afraid of being disappointed. In Me?
No. I'm afraid You are disappointed in me, and that will be proof. Do you believe it will?
I don't know. What DO you know?
I know that You told me to write these. Yes, I did.
I know that it is full of Your Words today. Yes, it is.
I know You've made it a desire of my heart to share Your Word. Yes, I have.
I know that I am desperate to please You. Yes, you are. So, now what do you know?
I know I need to jump out of the boat, walk by faith and not by sight, and pray – knowing You will answer it. Thank you for respecting prayer. I'm listening My child...


God and I have shared a special “time” during the day for several years where He reminds me of His presence: 3:33. Look for entries posted at that time. God had a unique hand in those...

I praise my God whom I know moves mountains!